Professional Development: How to balance work-life.

Work place or career settings are one of the few environments which should be a target point for professional development. Unfortunately, this aspect of life delude many due to the fast-paced cycle upon which the earth revolves around its orbit.

Simply put, time seems to be running faster than it used to, our bosses seemed to have become overly demanding, work pile up on our desk seeking for our attention and the kids at home would not want us to lift a foot without drawing some energy from our weak veins: this leaves us with absolutely little or no time for ourselves : we can’t plan for tomorrow, act or think ahead. It gets to a particular point that we look back at those things which would have been but never was.

At that point, one finds himself wallowing or struggling in self-regret and a huge burden of un-fulfilment. Unfortunately, you find people who at their old age sign up for one professional course or the other; they end up struggling through the whole process while some drop out on the way, and only a handful get to the finishing line.

The frustration of placing so much expectations on someone is understanding, but the burden of underachievement could drive one to depression. In order to avoid such from happening, it becomes very important for one to plan their life from the onset.

The first step to planning is self-discovery.

One must discover the area one is really good at and work or walk through that path while in school. This would shape and sharpen the person for the big picture. Some go as far as getting a mentor to go with through this difficult stage of their lives. It is paramount for one to know their actual calling in life in the sense that everyone on earth is called to solve a particular issue or meet a particular need for common good. It is this discovery that will act as a guiding light towards fashioning a person for greater greatness.

Picture from VectorStock.com

Ordinarily, one can also choose to volunteer their services in those areas where they have been called to serve. There is this gain behind volunteer work: you don’t only gain the experience or knowledge, but you are test running your field before time.
Immediately after school, it is always advisable to sign up for professional courses during NYSC which have been highly subsidized by the government and some training institutions.

If one ever finds oneself employed, it is not advisable to relax owing to a fat salary or landing one’s dream job. It is advisable to attend every training the company must have signed one up at first, and with time, when one must have built a strong relationship with their manager or supervisor, one could as well ask to choose or select trainings based on one’s area of interest which must also be beneficial to a person’s line of work. It does not only stop at attending trainings sponsored by the company, but one can go out of their way to sign up for local and international courses on their own. Taking some time off from work or leveraging on one’s leave in order to go for a course wold certainly not break a bone. All it takes is time management, saving and proper planning.

Planning professionally helps one to be ahead of others in the work place; build a sustainable career; get exposed to things they have never come by. It is a channel to a better state of job security, satisfaction and self fulfilment. One must never rely on things they know but things that are yet unknown in order to level up wherever they find themselves.

Thank you for reading, I hope this developed you, makes work more easy.

🌟Written by Udemezue, Oluoma

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Life hack: Why you should be yourself and live in your world.

Because of the need to live up to expectations, to be part of the happening persons, to get across as presentable and paint the picture perfect of ourselves to others, we always end up loosing our identity, our self and our definition and uniqueness.

Just breath! (Photo from the web)

At times, it is very difficult to live and breathe: the noise around and within struggle to gain your attention at once,

Just like the conductors struggling with your bag at the park.
Most times, you fight to clear your head of so many doubts, and stepping out of the compound, the first thing that accosts you is the sting of failure, not leveling up or a thousand miles ahead yet to be covered . Most people give up at that instance while others have learned the hard way; they understand the theory of ‘doing you’. Each person has a pathway through which their dreams and aspirations could be realised.

You are allowed to live!

All pathways are not the same and that is why one must realise the ‘you’ in him or her. Take for instance; No two persons have the same personalities, same likes, same turn on or turn offs, and surely, the same energy or motivational drive.
Some start earlier enough while some start later in life, but everyone meet at a crossroad, one way or the other. But I would tell you something in all honesty : it is more charitable to do you.
It is unfortunate that social media has opened us up to so many things: competition, jealously, struggle with contentment and a bid to live for the glam. We have forgotten so quickly about connection, networking, love, life and true identity. We grapple in a world of mirage and when we search through the debris of things yet to be done, we either fall into depression, jump the bridge or put a rope round it. Levelling up doesn’t necessarily mean money in the bank, drugs, women or booze. Intelligence is of the mind.

A letter to you from me. I appreciate you 🖤

Dear reader,

Open your eyes and look around you; look in the mirror and see beyond you: you are full of potentials which are yet untapped, bustling with so much energy. You have the whole world ahead of you. Can you be grateful for the little you have? Find a passion and water it till it grows: a seed doesn’t germinate only when it dies.
You have to go through that hard period of learning before you see life goodies on your laps. Nobody should tell you about the easy way, the hard way teaches and prepares you on how to handle the good, the bad, and the ugly tomorrow might bring. Live a more realistic world away from what you seem to presume of others you see & on social media, and don’t lie to yourself. Don’t try to live above your means in order to impress or suppress, this space is enough for anyone who is ready to shine or blow. You can live this life with the little or nothing you have. The spirit of doing you empowers you to live in your own world without looking at anyone. You are happy wearing that one pair of shoes seven times in a week. A lady goes by that dress without getting something extra by the side. At times, we don’t even know how much people wish to be us but we keep on looking outward rather than inward. Appreciate the little gifts that life has to offer. Like Malt Guinness would say: You Gat the power!

Thank you for reading, I hope this developed you, makes you happy and to be you.

🌟Written by Udemezue, Oluoma

TIPS FOR WEIGHT LOSS: The first best four(4) steps to lose weight without exercise.

Weight loss is a high demand life style every other person wants to live up to. Barely 2% in every popular would you find a person who wants to gain some weight. Everyone wants to lose them out, to be fit and to have that killer and macho body!

Killer X Macho Body goals

Ingredients for easy weight loss

Our food is rich and of different classes, but with awareness, diseases and the love for curviness, people, mostly women, sought ways to watch their weight gain. Unfortunately, most believe that the first step is exercise, then surgery, or portion control.

These are good but, what happens if you are unable to achieve those or gain weight afterwards? That is why I have decided to help you get it right with weight loss. Darlings power !💪

Note that there is no crime in eating but one can’t afford to overfeed.

Reflections;

Do you like what you see in the mirror? Did the doctor tell you to cut down on diet? Do you wish for a healthy lifestyle , to look sexy and physically fit? There are a few first steps to making that happen:

1. Orientation of the mind and self love.

There is no miracle to weight loss and that is why the first step to losing weight is the orientation of the mind. Self love is very important. Look at yourself in the mirror and agree that you don’t like how you look or what you see, not because of anybody but you. You are the most important person in this case. In my language, we say that the eyes eat before the mouth. This simply means that the mind or brain controls the activities of our body. So, you see food with your eyes but you have to tell your tummy through your mind that it is the eyes or mind that is hungry and not the stomach.

Sahni Waiman

You can do it too !

2. What you eat and how much.

There is nothing wrong in eating those things that you love. There is something called portion control. You eat in little quantity and you see your stomach training itself. It is not easy but it could only take a while.

Eat only food that supports weight lose.

3. Being Intentional.

You must make up your mind that this is what you really want because it is right for you. You have to be aware of the different phases that are involved in weight loss. You need to know that at some point, you will feel depressed, frustrated, empty, famished, but with time, you are happy, satisfied, and you gain your self confidence back with the snap of the fingers.

Unrelated image to distract you.

4. Awareness.

One thing about weight loss is the awareness that your body would go through tough or challenging phases, thus the need to prepare ahead of time.
They say the mind is the control room of the body, one needs to not neglect that, it has the power to persuade and at the same time dissuade. So, before you decide to take up weightloss challenges, get your mind crushing on it.

Get a tape!

Thank you for reading. I hope this helps you attain your weight lose goals.

About Curator ;
My name is Udemezue, Oluoma. I worked for a Chef (ChinweKitchen) for more than three years, and I grew up in a family where we fancy cooking and baking. I am an African, and a Nigerian from the Eastern part of the region. In Africa, we delight so much in food. Food is a ritual which forms an aspect of our tradition and rich cultural heritage.

Meet me!

Find me at udemezueoluoma@yahoo.com

SOFRESHNG- FOOD REVIEW : Healthy Meal in a pack!   

It’s wasn’t so hard for  SOFRESHNG  healthy meals to find it way to my heart and settle because it is absolute!

Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad From SOFRESHNG

If you are from my instagram,  then this is a detailed post on Sofreshng, also,  if you  stumbled upon this post from a web search, then this is definitely the Weight Loss and Healthy Meal way you are looking for.

                    MY THOUGHTS

I had the Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad and it was a “flight and tales” for me.  I savoured at it, rushing every bite until my sister called me to order (smiles).

Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad Box 🔥

One of the many portions I had ☺ !

Below is a not-so-detailed  things you should know about them. 

 

OPENING HOURS 

They offer services all day of the week and can deliver within the day as specified somewhere below.

FEATURES 

Licensed, Neighborhood market,  Diet meals,  Vegetarian friendly.

PHONE; +234 80 7171 7010 (Abuja office)

Customer Service; They have one of the best customer service ever.  Their agents are natural and personable, as attentive and mild.

PRO TIPS- Don’t expect too much chicken because they are serving you a healthy meal and not some “junks and chills dish” (winks and blushes).

The chicken pool isn’t so deep ; Remember it is a healthy meal, so no-to-much chicken!!

MENU

They offer a variety of healthy meals and drinkables in forms you can’t even imagine 💝

  1. Salads
  2. Smoothies
  3. Parfaits and fruits packs
  4. Wraps and Sandwich
  5. Kids menu
  6. Special fruit arrangement
  7. Fruits basket
  8. Healthy bites
  9. And a fruit marketplace.

   They also have plans like; 

  1. Weight loss Program plan
  2. Meal plans
  3. Events and Catering
  4. And the Detox and Juice Plan. But I went for my SSCS

GO-TO DISH – Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad. 

Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad Photo by Dear Salmah!

DELIVERY ; Price varies per-location but I paid “N1000 for Life Camp Abuja” where i received my order.
 (Click here all locations price list) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRICES;  2200 for sweet and spicy chicken salad I had. (For full menu /price  others click here )

 

 

LOCATION ( for Abuja) 

 


1 Agadez Crescent, Off Amino Kano Crescent, Wuse 2, Abuja

Email: abuja@sofreshng.com

  

      How I found SOFRESHNG

 After viewing my favorite instagram story Umeetaa_x , I was surprised to find out that My Number one Dear_salmah posted a story too and I rushed to view it and boohoooo,  I saw a nutritious picture of a food from them (SOFRESHNG)

Thank you for reading and I hope you buy from them.

Don’t forget to drop comments too and follow my social media handles.

Sahni Waiman; A day in my life 

I’m currently en route to Abuja from Nasarawa Toto to visit my sick girl at Zankel Hospital Mabushi after taking a work break.  

I am about to share an epic “about-just-now-gist” with you 😂. 

 A guy begged me for money !!

08:50am Nigeria Time. 
Dressed up in my Kaftan from beaurifl and glowing all up,  but waiting by the road side for a commercial vehicle though ☺,  he passed me by and made a turn (he was on a bike) , greeted me and started explaining his ordeals. 

 His wife is unconscious and at the hospital,  he lost their new-born and since she’s still recuperating,  he is stucked with bills to pay and he sees that God has blessed me therefore, I should help him and his wife with money.  

9:39am I just boarded a vehicle going to Gwagwalada from Abaji and it’s super hot in here,  with the driver apparently not ready to go ‘because he’s searching for passengers to fill in the car. ‘

I got a bus heading to Berger from Gwagwalada at about 10:33am and ‘oh yeah’ he has also been doing the “stop-and-carry” too. 

My outfit is properly squeezed out already you know. 

A huge Bill Board at Berger Bridge

I arrived Berger at 11:25am and crossed over to the Life Camp avenue route so I can board a taxi along with many other people to the life camp bus stop and then to my house at the First Gate area. 

I can’t wait to get home because I am waiting for my Sweet and spicy Chicken salad from Sofreshng (a review would be up after I taste it) 
I ended up taking a ”Drop” because I felt I couldn’t meet up with my supposed delivery from Sofreshng  and that was making my tommy hurt 😂. 

I got home at last ! 

I got my delivery,  enjoyed every bit of it, **Tap to see review ** and went off to Zankli Hospital Mabushi to visit my sick girlfriend who had a surgery done on her.  

Me at Zankli Hospital Mabushi Area

I stayed for 3hours at the hospital,  took some pictures and left for life camp, so I can proceed to Nasarawa  town as a sudden appointment fitted through while I was in the mix of getting my day fulfilled. 
Few minutes later, I was already on my way to Nyanya-Mararaba  after boarding a bus at Berger Bridge Bus-Stop. 

Mararaba Karu

I arrived Keffi at about  5:50pm  and immediately boarded a bus headed to Nasarawa Town.  Unfortunately for me,  the Vehicle decelerated and stop at Marmara and I had to stop another vehicle after waiting for over an hour for the driver to fix it (out of what we call ‘guilt’ but hey ! Didn’t I pay for the ride and don’t you have leave for your decisions?!) 
When I arrived  Nasarawa, it was already 8pm and I was so tired and stressed out but still,  I had to refresh and get ready for my meeting slated for 9pm which of course was a huge  success. 

Did you read my review on Sofreshng  Sweet and spicy chicken salad yet?  Click to read it! 

A portion of the Sweet and Spicy Chicken Salad from Sofreshng 🔥 🔥

Thanks for staying to the end 🙏🎉

This is my first chronicle on ”A day in my life and below would be listed “The Lessons you should get as tip for your personal development”

  1. The significance of a to-do can not be overemphasized.
  2. You can start something good suddenly and it would not be too late
  3. You don’t always have to meet up your maximum time frame but it doesn’t mean you should cancel it after the time elapses (I had to close my wordpress app and focus of the details of my meeting and just completed this blog post a day later.
  4. No matter how tight your schedules are,  you can do that thing! 
  5. Suddenly or not,  you can ditch your break for work.  If you know the worth of what and why and how. 
  6. Do it anyways. Just do it if you are freaking sure it’s the right thing. 
  7. Find time to visit your loved ones. 
  8. Eat healthy meals like the one I got from Sofreshng

Rape and Assault; Victim Blaming. 

Rape is fast becoming an epidemic problem in our society with the incidence hiking up daily.  It ranges from cases of date, strangers,  friends,  relatives and even parents rape.

While many try to talk ways towards ending it,  a better number of the population allot  blames in folds to the perpetrators and annoyingly to the victims.

 It is the work of the devil……

That is what every exposed rapist says when about to be punished.

Victim Blaming

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 Due to the wide acceptance of ‘rape myth’ , victims are held responsible for their victimization.

Sadly, the Society is usually more forgiving of date rape perpetrators  and attributes a higher level of blame and criticism to date rape victims than to stranger rape victims.

It is said that people blame victims of assault because according to the theory of  ‘just world’, people get what they deserve and deserve what they get.

People believe that good things happen to good people and the bad things to bad people.

Just World believers agree that  the world is safe and protected even in the face of harsh reality. And this belief extends to rape.  They preserve their beliefs by distracting the victims suffering or in fact blaming them for what happened.
A researcher,  Walster (1966) suggests that people judge the severity of events as a function of harm caused. If the victim is not severely harmed, the event is seen as an accident. However, as the level of harm increases, the fear that ‘‘this could happen to me’’ also increases.

Most people blame the victims just so they could feel a sense of control, safety, and protection from the rape. They do not want to agree or believe it to be reasonable that the victims could be victims and therefore, even they do could be.

Do you know what it means to blame a victim ?

Victim Blaming is such a vile thing done by lots due to their careless form of interactions and usually in an effort to make sense and to be heard.

It ranges from the act of trivializing rape, teaching women to avoid getting raped, taking the accusations lightly, saying only promiscuous people get assaulted, claiming men do not get raped, defining  “man or womanhood”, continuing the display of sexual violence in movies without appropriately displaying the consequences too, the act of weighing the causes of the rape like checking for the victims outfit, rape location,  motives and mental state of culprit, altering rape reports and hiding them in an effort to prevent shaming, tolerance of sexual harassment for fear of losing work or favor and worst trying to makes jokes out of a rape/assault situation or making sexually explicit and offensive jokes.

images.jpg

Effects of Victim Blaming.

Rape culture was the first effect of victim blaming and the mother of all effects known and yet to be uncovered. It has caused lots of assault victims to keep their pain and experience discreet, hurting themselves and it goes back to hurt everyone else one way or the other as they interact with the victims of unreported rape cases.

For every rape victim blamed or questioned as to the authenticity of their story, the cause of their vulnerability and or why they did not figure the motive of the culprit, it interprets to making them fabricators, liars, attention seeker and weaklings.

Many of our angry and aggressive bosses at work are traumatized assault victims. Many of the rude girls/boys and toxic personalities are victims of unheard assault or shamed assault victims who have developed shells and capsules of hatred to many humans (homophobia) as a form of self protection.

Victim Blaming and rape trivializing “boys would always be boys” has caused so much increase in the cases of rape in the world.

images (1).jpg

Because “boys would always be boys”, teens are now involved in the raping of young girls or even women older than they are in a bid to prove they are part of the cool gang.

Any form of Victim Blaming is a direct form of rape support.

Victim Blaming can never be justified and should not be taken lightly. Any person that blames a victim for their victimization is a potential rapist and should be treated as an accomplice.
Although many cases of false rape call out and  reports is rampant, no one should be comfortable questioning or doubting a rape case report without proper verification and investigation.

Conclusion

The effects of victim blaming cannot be overemphasized. Rape and assault would not be curbed if any form of victim blaming is let to pass under the carpet unfixed and tackled.

We are all potential assault victims therefore, it is an obligation upon us all to advocate against assault and victim shaming/blaming. Irrespective of where you work, who you interact with, where it is located and the person in question. You must straighten any misconception or misjudgment/statement on assault.

We must all stop the act of hiding rape cases in an effort to prevent shaming otherwise, more touts would be found taking part in it as the day passes.

Every assault case is your business and the educating of children and colleagues on ways to protect one self is your responsibility.

stop-victim-blaming1.png

Stop the act of victim blaming because no one is too much to become a victim, no one is protected enough, no one is smart enough, no one is strong enough. if you think you are, then what about the person next to you? how about your loved ones? what about your siblings and kids?

Thank you for reading.🙌

I hope you learnt enough to educate someone on what victim blaming and it forms are. do not forget to share the link with friends.

Drop a comment on what you think about assault victim blaming.

Do you agree it is the victims fault by any chance ?

Disclaimer; This post was made from research on the web, self caved statement and every one was quoted. it is not intended as a threat but just a post made to increase awareness and make the reader realize their position on the campaign against rape and rape victim shaming/blaming.

Are Male Bloggers Gay ?! 

Blogging as an occupation,  whether full or half-time in this part of our world is still seen as the act of gossiping and jumping into what doesn’t concern you or worst more, the parking lot of an unemployed person wanting to be seen as someone doing something rather than being said to be jobless. 

It ain’t a ”women-only thing” too dearest sister or brother!  Because blogging goes a long way from what we perceive it to be and also what the bad eggs had it labelled into. 

 Male bloggers are not homosexuals!
Counter to beliefs and stereotyping that a guy who blogs or and especially is into fashion/style blogging is either homosexual or bisexual is a big fat and cheap misconception!. 

Blogging and Sexuality! 

An individual’s sexuality (Sexuality is the sexual habits or desires of a person) has absolutely no relationship with their blogging (Blogging or Blog is a website on which someone writes about personal opinions,  activities,  and experiences).  I insist on stating it clearly again that ”because a male blogs doesn’t mean he loves the next man or any man at all.” 

Or is blogging a man?  

At this age and century,  the last thing a supposedly civilized, well educated and exposed  being like you is expected to believe or buy along with is Stereotyping ! Not of blogging and sexuality alone but of any kind at all. 

What intrigued me into writing on this topic ?! 

I hear and see people snapping at males for being bloggers and calling them perverts. 

Hey there!  Homosexuals are great and able humans who have got a reason and right to their sexual desires and it is not intelligent in any shade to paint them red! 

Talking about why I am concerned as to why male bloggers are termed as Gay is simple;  Because we feel blogging is for the females and so for a man to blog, he is being feminine and thus, a potential homosexual?! 

Potential until proven otherwise by declaration right?  

It is completely wrong to even start these series of thoughts in the first place so cut it out. 

Bloggers Thought/Experiences on the topic.

I contacted reachable male bloggers  (53>) and a few females (20<). While a lot of them wanted anonymity, a very few others didn’t mind being identified.  I would mention a few and just interpret my findings afterwards. 

A very popular Actor/Style blogger said; Well, I have come a long way and it doesn’t affect me anymore but it almost stopped me at the beginning.  Even my family don’t believe I am not gay although I have a girlfriend. And people on the otherside are entitled to their opinion as long as it doesn’t affect your marketing. 

No direct identification permission.

Kuyet Bamai a style blogger said;  Well it’s normal when people address men who are in fashion generally as homosexuals cos somehow society makes it seem as though a man shouldn’t be so into fashion or the way he looks. In this industry, you just need to focus on your focus and not what other people say about you. I’ve not had people address me directly but even if that ever happened I’ll probably just laugh and move on cos it’s totally ok for people to misunderstand.

Kuyet Bamai

Kene Kingsley a style blogger  said; First of all, being a male blogger has nothing to do with one sexuality. Besides,  at the end of the day, whatever sexuality anyone chooses to identify with is the person’s personal preference and I’ve not had anyone make reference to my sexuality as a blogger.

Kene Kingsley

An African lifestyle Blogger  said;  The truth remains that I don’t believe people’s opinion about me matters so much.. however I have not experienced such.

Organic Article

 Selfmadeuch A lifestyle/travel blogger  said;   Well, I must confess this is the first time of me hearing about this and I haven’t met any homosexual male blogger since the past 3 years I’ve been blogging.

Selfmadeuch

Here’s what some well-respected female bloggers said. 👇 👇 

Northern Hibiscus, a lifestyle/entertaiment blogger said; I don’t know any thing about male bloggers walahi.  It’s just that men aren’t doing it, But you can do what you want to do because It’s a free world. 

Aisha Northern Hibiscus


A female life and Style blogger Debs said;   So far, it’s a myth that there’s nothing like male bloggers. People would normally think only females blog especially about style. 

I remember attending a blogger event one time and when I shared the group pictures, people were quick to judge the only male in the picture as being gay. 

I was a bit confused then as I wasn’t in the know of that misconception. But the truth is that as long as female blog about their style, life and other issues, the male folks shouldn’t be excluded from this too.           It doesn’t make them homosexual in any way, neither should it sparks controversy about what they stand for. 

Debs

Salmah Abdulsalam, a life/style/beauty blogger said; I have heard about male fashion bloggers being gays. I think it’s absolutely bullshit. Ones sexual orientation doesn’t have anything to do with them been fashion bloggers or not.

And my personal opinion on homosexuality: I just don’t care. Honestly. I’m so indifferent about it. I won’t hate anyone more or love anyone more because of their sexual orientations. We are human, we sin and worship differently.

Salmah Abdulsalam

Mindofamaka, a product photographer/lifestyle blogger said;  I mean there’s been speculation in relation to some, and some have been accused for it such. Apart from that, nothing comes to mind.
And Just because someone blogs about a certain thing doesn’t mean they’re homosexual. Some people just have interests in certain non conventional things. Even with that, just because one likes dressing well doesn’t mean they’re gay also. I think some guys also don’t display attributes linked to the typical “manly man” stereotype and this can also cause people to perceive them as homosexuals – when really, it’s just their personality and they’re perfectly straight.

Also,  thinking male bloggers are homosexuals would be a gross generalisation.

Mind Of Amaka



*****    A lot of other Fashion/Style male bloggers  also related their sexuality based problems. And a very high proportion seem to be perceived as homosexuals by the brands that approach them, co-bloggers and many audience they’ve met.  With many of them getting messages almost every day about it.  

In a nutshell,  a very high percentage  of people see male bloggers,  especially those into fashion and Style as low-key homosexuals and that has gone down to even co-bloggers(Females precisely). And it is either because you are a blogger or because of your blogging style, outfits and body language when you meet at events. 
But the fact still remains the same;  A male isn’t gay or homo/bisexual because he is a blogger.  

If all male bloggers are gay,  then why aren’t all known Gay bloggers?  

Everyone is an advocate for positive changes and stereotype-elimination so;  if someone makes such claims, counter them.  And if you had that notion, change it. 

Male bloggers are but bloggers! 


Disclaimer:  Everyone whose detail was posted gave their permissions and those who requested for anonymity had their opinions piled up into conclusions.

What are your thoughts on this topic?  

1. Have you heard anything about male bloggers especially style /fashion being Gay  ? 

2. If yes,  what is your opinion. 

3. If no,  Do you think male bloggers are homosexuals?

Thank you for reading  💐💟